The days blend together, each one indistinguishable from the last or the next.
My time is tolled bi-weekly, when I have my children and when I do not. I live bi-weekly. I am two different people it seems. When I pick my children up on friday evening, my fatherhood begins anew, I am Dad. I relish the time I spend with my offspring. Kid Friday is always somewhat of a shocker, I dive into parenting mode, not missing a beat. I catch up with there ever changing lives as fast as I can without overwhelming them. I feel like I lose a piece of them during my bi-weekly seperation. As if I have been robbed of the treasured moments that I horde jealously. Kid friday is always good. Day 1 passes. Day 2 Saturday, I usually take them grocery shopping, and attempt to make there lives as joyous as possible. Sometimes we go to the park across the street, and feed the ducks, all the while my son is being walked by our suspected chromosome depleted pug "Brewtus". I really have to try to slow down, I struggle to keep things in perspective. I just try to shower my kids with love, and attempt to impart some of the small lessons I have learned upon my journey. Day 3 Sunday, lazy day, prepare for the upcoming week. Reading to the kids always seems to fit in on this day. Bah, laundry... Day 4 Monday, routine kicks in, fresh clothing, daycare, work, then pick up the kids. Dinner, bathes, entertainment (TV, video games, doll houses, coloring, etc.) Prayers, bedtime. Day 5 Tuesday, rinse off Day 4 and repeat. Day 6 Wednesday, rinse and repeat. Day 7 Thursday, this is always a sad day for me, I am in countdown mode, this is my last evening with my children for a week. I attempt to slow it down, but it never ever slows, it only seems to accelerate in motion. I almost always read a short story to them on this evening, I find this calms my mind, so I can go to sleep without staying up half the night. Friday morning, drop them off at daycare, and linger, letting them know that there mother will be picking them up tonight, and I will miss them, and to be good. And that my love never ever leaves them. It is forever.....
I will post my Kid-less week ramblings soon, for now this brief paragraph is what I am feeling the most on this a new Kid Friday, they are tucked away in fresh linens, and are dreaming the dreams only the children can dream.
I love you both and will always feel humbled and eternally blessed at the same time, by the gifts that you both are.
Dad
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Depth
Yeah baby you say you still love me
Even after the silent divorce, I ain't free
Ten long years of marriage, yeah five were hell
Said you just had to quit me, low tolls the bell
Time is an illusion, yeah simply man's invention
Our two glorious children became my utter salvation
They pulled me from the pit, from the brink of despair
Everything happens for a reason, doesn't matter if it's fair
I placed you high upon my plastered pedestal of love
Belief is the grandest thing I own, my treasure trove
Now I believe our faked failed love was never real
Cannot stop this mental train, I no longer feel
Do you see my deepest emotions that now come unbidden
Lifetime of pain long buried, no, it is no longer hidden
Self realization of wasted days, spent it with hard currency
Now each moments a pearl, savored in a sense of urgency
Even after the silent divorce, I ain't free
Ten long years of marriage, yeah five were hell
Said you just had to quit me, low tolls the bell
Time is an illusion, yeah simply man's invention
Our two glorious children became my utter salvation
They pulled me from the pit, from the brink of despair
Everything happens for a reason, doesn't matter if it's fair
I placed you high upon my plastered pedestal of love
Belief is the grandest thing I own, my treasure trove
Now I believe our faked failed love was never real
Cannot stop this mental train, I no longer feel
Do you see my deepest emotions that now come unbidden
Lifetime of pain long buried, no, it is no longer hidden
Self realization of wasted days, spent it with hard currency
Now each moments a pearl, savored in a sense of urgency
Pay the toll
Cigarette burns scar your arms, to hide the tracks, the trails of your tribulations.
Your beauty is dulled by your self-inflicted addiction.
Where once your soul resided, now is only a black hole, that sucks all life, and light from all your joy now.
Cigarette burns scar your arms, to hide the tracks, the trails of your tribulations.
Your body no longer a treasure, just all men's affliction.
Actions speak louder than words preached, have you adhered to your sage advice? Your eyes scream misery, while your mouth utters its unreal and auditioned role.
Cigarette burns scar your arms, to hide the tracks, the trails of your tribulations.
Victim you say you are, just a product of civilization. Society is where you lay the blame, let the world deal with it's own creation, you gave what you got, and that, as you say, is that. The down and out, the given out, the passed out, you take them all.
Your beauty is dulled by your self-inflicted addiction.
Where once your soul resided, now is only a black hole, that sucks all life, and light from all your joy now.
Cigarette burns scar your arms, to hide the tracks, the trails of your tribulations.
Your body no longer a treasure, just all men's affliction.
Actions speak louder than words preached, have you adhered to your sage advice? Your eyes scream misery, while your mouth utters its unreal and auditioned role.
Cigarette burns scar your arms, to hide the tracks, the trails of your tribulations.
Victim you say you are, just a product of civilization. Society is where you lay the blame, let the world deal with it's own creation, you gave what you got, and that, as you say, is that. The down and out, the given out, the passed out, you take them all.
Strength
My soul soars with wings lifted by the hope that will never allow the ground to pull me down. I revel at my fortune, I thank God for all that he has blessed me with. I fly now over snow-kissed mountains, and the shaded valleys brilliant in there healthy vibrancy. The land is showing me her beauty, she is a patient teacher, willing to indulge her slower students. I turn my wings to the south, descending low to the hill lands. I marvel at the here-to-fore unimagined detail, and love put into the minutia. Every blade of grass, is glistening with the nectar of mornings dew.
Life's wisdom unfurls before my unguarded searching eyes.
Stronger because of my battles in the sky.
Life's wisdom unfurls before my unguarded searching eyes.
Stronger because of my battles in the sky.
Sunday, March 25, 2007
LIGHTHOUSE
Been torn down by my own hands
Took my time, traveled the land
Mind is bleeding from the past
Sleep comes, but never lasts
--------------------------------------
I see my future paved in stone
Each step I take must be alone
My inner minds eye seeks the key
Written words, are admitted destiny
----------------------------------------
Time is my trapped fly on paper
Glued down wings, pinned to savor
The lazy wind carries my promise
Lifeless dreams, tears on the mist
------------------------------------------
I killed the guilt, and still I stumbled
Lazy Cretan, my mid-thirties bumble
Children of mine are the Lighthouse Beacon
Thank you oh God for the soul that's seekin'
Took my time, traveled the land
Mind is bleeding from the past
Sleep comes, but never lasts
--------------------------------------
I see my future paved in stone
Each step I take must be alone
My inner minds eye seeks the key
Written words, are admitted destiny
----------------------------------------
Time is my trapped fly on paper
Glued down wings, pinned to savor
The lazy wind carries my promise
Lifeless dreams, tears on the mist
------------------------------------------
I killed the guilt, and still I stumbled
Lazy Cretan, my mid-thirties bumble
Children of mine are the Lighthouse Beacon
Thank you oh God for the soul that's seekin'
BACA Mission Statement
Bikers Against Child Abuse (BACA) exists with the intent to create a safer environment for abused children.
We exist as a body of Bikers to empower children not to feel afraid of the world in which they live. We stand ready to lend support to our wounded friends by involving them with an established, united organization.
We work in conjunction with local and state officials who are already in place to protect children.
We desire to send a clear message to all involved with the abused child that this child is part of our organization, and that we are prepared to lend our physical and emotional support to them by affiliation, and our physical presence.
We stand at the ready to shield these children from further abuse.
We do not condone the use of violence or physical force in any manner, however, if circumstances arise such that we are the only obstacle preventing a child from further abuse, we stand ready to be that obstacle.
www.bacausa.com
We exist as a body of Bikers to empower children not to feel afraid of the world in which they live. We stand ready to lend support to our wounded friends by involving them with an established, united organization.
We work in conjunction with local and state officials who are already in place to protect children.
We desire to send a clear message to all involved with the abused child that this child is part of our organization, and that we are prepared to lend our physical and emotional support to them by affiliation, and our physical presence.
We stand at the ready to shield these children from further abuse.
We do not condone the use of violence or physical force in any manner, however, if circumstances arise such that we are the only obstacle preventing a child from further abuse, we stand ready to be that obstacle.
www.bacausa.com
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